Tolerance for Intolerance

Increasingly I am finding that for me, the essence of Quakerism is to use love as the vehicle to bring truths together, and not to stake a claim as the holder of "Truth". The challenge is that there are many truths out there in the world - individual and collective truths. Some of these truths can be hurtful, and contentious, even counter-intuitive, but they are truths none-the-less. I think that love is the emotion that can hold us together as we struggle to not necessarily find unity on these truths, but simply recognize and respect them. In fact, if we are to believe the basic teaching of Quakerism that there is that of God in all things, and God is a loving God, then there is that of Love in all things.

I am reminded of this because of a sentiment I have heard over the years that I seem to be paying more attention to: "I'm a very tolerant person, except for those who are intolerant". I think that if we deem people of certain theologies or faiths as intolerant, we may not be "holding them in the light"; instead, we may be holding them in darkness. I say this because over the past two years, I have seen love and compassion in areas that I never though I would see it - the Evangelical community, and often over that time, Love has been what has held our relationships together. I am not saying at all that we have seen eye-to-eye on all things, but what I have seen is that love is absolutely a part of the motivating force for so many people to do their work. It was the words of a friend who comes from the Evanglical community, when I was struggling to make sense of "anti-homosexual" statments by a church leader in Wheaton IL, this past fall. "One thing to understand", Shayne told me, "is that this woman is really driven by love for Jesus Christ".

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John, 4:18). This verse, plus writings from people like Deitrich Bonhoefer, who wrote much about the Sermon on the Mount ("The Cost of Discipleship"), and lines from the Prayer of St. Francis ("Where there is hatred, let me sow love", and "Grant that I may not be understood so much as to understand") can help give context and guidance for how to sit with each other and hold the dialog.

What does this allow me to do? It seems to have freed me to no longer look at the above-mentioned woman and people like her as angry, mean and hateful. Without a doubt, there are harmful consequences to her message - she is largely unable to see AIDS for what it is in Kenya, Uganda, and Zambia where she puts her HIV/AIDS efforts, and of course, in her own congregation, she perpetuates an intimidating message to all those who are gay and lesbian. But I have faith that in my being able to see the light of love within her, we can maintain an open dialog that, and by bearing witness to each other, there is the possibility for change. And, as opportunities rise, I am able to raise the questions of the conflict between a loving God and an angry God.

My fellow writer on this blog, Tania, has written about the work with her Monthly Meeting. It is a dialog that is all-too familiar for those of us who have been a part of Meetings that are dealing with issues of sexual diversity. Often these become "intellectual" arguments fueled by fear (or, just as often, fear is the mechanism that maintains silence on things that matter, and Martin Luther King said the world begins to end when we are silent on the things that matter).

What matters? I think it's that people can be honest about who they are - who we are. The best of us are intolerant to something, and to think we are all-tolerant is a delusion. But as Quakers, collectively we can hold our and others delusions and blind spots in the light, and with Love, we can hopefully bring healing and understanding.