I raised my concerns today at my Worship & Ministry committee. The assumption I was making that the Meeting was postponing discussion because they assumed everyone was straight was not an assumption that the other members agreed with. They did agree with my concern that openly gay couples do feel left out, or pick up on our hesitancy as a Meeting about gay marriage. We had a good discussion about what happened and what the next steps might be for us as a Monthly Meeting. The end result is that we're going to discuss it more; and I've been encouraged also to discuss it in particular with members who are opposed to gay marriage. I'm not sure I have the courage yet to do so, but I pray that, if I am doing God's will, He will grant me the strength and courage I need.
The struggle in particular my Monthly Meeting is facing is the potential loss of the handful of members who disagree with gay marriage. There are those in my MM that are flippant about this; feeling that these members should be willing to step aside to let the MM move on and that if they are not willing to do so, then they should leave. I have mixed feelings about this approach. I do agree that they should step aside, but I think it would be a huge loss to my MM if we lost these members. On the other hand, how many potential members have we lost because of our reluctance?
It is a struggle; and I am at once comforted and dismayed to know that we are not the only MM who is struggling with this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Well you could try to figure out whether you would lose more people by making or not making a particular decision, but what is the relationship between doing this and discerning God's will for the meeting?
Asking Friends to stand aside on a very important decision but wanting them to continue to be members is not an uncommon wish but I don't think it is good Quaker practice. Assuming that the Friends really believe God is telling them that the decision before the meeting is wrong, is it the proper course to pressure them to stand aside so the majority can have its way? If their discernment is so disregarded, they can not in fact be full members of the meeting under such a circumstance. It would be more honest to read them out of meeting for discernment inconsistent with the Meeting majority.
One of the most beautiful moments in my Quaker experience came early on at the Cherry St Meeting in Philadelphia. I was an attender, well read about QUaker process but with very little experience. (I attended meeting, and then i bolted home immediately afterwards.)
Meeting for Business was held prior to meeting. I was very unaware of what was going on in the full life of the meeting, but recall the energy in the Meetinghouse that day. A member gave ministry, deep from their heart, it seemed to me, about how the business they had resolved that morning had required such a hard and long process -- and they wanted to witness to how -- despite their intellectual disagreements with the decision -- they felt led in by their trust in God to come to unity with the Meeting on the decision.
The love, willingness, submission, openness, beauty i felt in this person has stayed with me since (forgetting gender or race or age). The witness they offered was to the strength of our process: the importance to sit long with decisions, to labor with one another, to be willing to let go of one's own ideas and beliefs and to discern for a different shared source of Truth.
I hope you won't ask any members to stand aside, but ask them to join with you and the whole meeting on a journey to Unity. The gift i felt in that Meeting room -- over a decade now -- still causes my heart to swell and tears to come to my eyes.
I must use God language to describe my experience - coming to unity is the experience of Communion, of letting the Divine lead and opening our hearts to a Miracle.
The business that they had resolved was about taking same sex unions under the care of the meeting. I am sure there are other issues of today that may offer us the opportunity to labor with one another to come to Unity, but i believe this is a great place for this miracle of coming to Unity to work among us.
I hope your Meeting can move forward in this labor of Love.
Post a Comment