The Gay Christian Network Gathering

I attended the Gay Christian Network Gathering yesterday. This event is taking place in Alexandria, VA from Jan. 3 to 6. I'm not up for the whole weekend, so I'm thankful to Justin for allowing me to participate for the afternoon and into the evening. It was impressive to see the numbers of people (350 is what I heard). Overwhelmingly, the participants were white males, and people came from all over the country.

As someone from the tradition of unprogrammed Quakers and silent worship, here are some of my observations and thoughts:

• The opening of the afternoon General Session consisted of singing, and not the kind of singing I've experienced at the more traditional (Episcopal, Lutheran or Catholic) services I've attended over the years, but singing in the Evangelical tradition - drums, keyboards, and video screens with words. Very uplifting, but as I so often feel with these kinds of things, a bit awkward. I don't know if it's because it's not a part of my nature to go with the flow (what's that all about, anyway?), or if I'm feeling that my emotions are being manipulated, or what.
• LOVE - there was lots of love in the air. But I could also sense a lot of pain - people who have been hurt by their church. There were many people there who had been through "ex-gay" programs, and are among the 70% of people for whom ex-day programs tends to do more harm than good, although they are clear that they do not blame these programs for their hurt, nor do they begrudge those for whom the programs work.
• There was nothing visible about HIV/AIDS. It's possible that I was the only one with HIV there (in fact, I mentioned it at the small group gathering I attended, and a man sitting next to me asked "what is HIV?". I said "You know, AIDS", and he still didn't know what I was talking about). It's quite possible that something was said in the morning session or opening session the night before, but I'm sensitive to is the silence a form of acceptance or denial?
• The speaker for the general session I attended was fantastic! Kelly Fryer is a former Lutheran Minister who was "de-frocked" after coming out as a Lesbian by the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. She started an organization called A Renewal Enterprise ("Setting people free to change the world"), based in Chicago. (For more info, see http://www.arenewalenterprise.com/). The theme of her message was that we all draw lines, and right now in "the church", glbt issues is one of the most prominent lines being drawn. The fact is, however, that everyone draws lines somewhere (I sure can back that up: my parents are wonderful and caring secular humanists, but have very fundamentalist lines when it comes to certain political and religious groups). But, Kelly said, Christ died to set us free from hatred, self-hatred and doubt, and that ultimately, we don't get to draw the lines. I particularly like her calling that we all have a mission, and that when we accept this, it is a responsibility (as my good friend Lois so often says, with opportunity comes responsibility). A part of that mission is reconciliation, something our world so desparately needs, and that this comes to us and through us to the whole of creation (a concept very much in line with Quaker teachings of the inner Light and God in all things). Kelly stated "Jesus is Lord" as the first of five guiding principles. Just from my own upbringing and knowledge, I know that this statement is not universally agreed upon by Christians, let alone other faith traditions, but the more powerful part of her message (this is why, I think, it's important to keep listening) is that no one - not the church, not one's pastor, not one's family - speaks for God. God/Lord is the one who knows us better than we know ourselves, and loves us anyway.

Kelly's message, I think, was very empowering. She emphasized responsibility, and not being a victim. She stressed that we all need to be willing to be changed, not just wait for others to change - all messages that I completely resonate with, and like to think have been a part of my life's work. I know that I've changed immensely in my ability to see love in places I never thought I'd see it in the work I did in Wheaton, IL, and now see that when love rather than anger can be the driving emotion, good things can happen.

The question, for me, is "what about Quakerism?" The GCN gathering was clearly more Evangelical in nature. There are those of us who have not necessarily been hurt by our faith communities, but within Quaker traditions, there have been and continue to be a lot of angry words about homosexuality. Is there a way for Quakerism to be a part of the healing, bringing forth some of what is uniquely Quaker - the Peace Testimony, for example? And, at future GCN gatherings, can/should we try to have a greater presence to perhaps offer silent worship in the morning for those who need that as part of their faith practice?

I've been reading a book called "Head and Heart" by Garry Wills about Christianity in America. In early America, Quakers figured prominently in the abolition movement. In a future posting, I'll write about that, as I think we have some models from that history to perhaps guide our role in holding the dialog around homosexuality, faith, and God.