Is an opulent gay wedding really progress?

Last night a friend was telling me that one of his colleagues – a gay man – just proposed to his companion. With the recent approval of same-gender marriage, this is great that people can do this. It’s a true celebration of the achievements of the gay rights movement and the progression of society. But when I heard that the happy couple wants to have a big bash wedding and reception at the Newseum (rental alone is in the 10’s of thousands), I had to give pause. Earlier in the day, I heard a news story from Maryland about some legislative snags in a bill to approve gay marriage in that state. A legislator from Montgomery County stated that this issue is about civil rights. I have to say, when I put these two items together, I’m not as passionate about the cause.

The issue for me is not about marriage. I absolutely celebrate the rights of all to marry, and have been the benefit of such support. However, if we in the gay community are going to consider our cause a part of the larger civil rights and social justice movement, we should also be challenging each other in extending compassion and consideration to others. Personally, I’m not speaking up for gay rights so that wealthy gays and lesbians can have 6-figure weddings; I call the ability to marry "progress, but not the 6-figure wedding. To me, it’s just a gay form of greed, selfishness and conspicuous consumption and these are at the real basis of any true civil rights issue, in my opinion.

It saddens me to see a segment of our society that knows what it is to be marginalized acquire rights and then gleefully spends while forgetting that there are those who continue to be marginalized. To celebrate that greed and materialism transcend race, color and sexual orientation is no celebration at all. It’s a slap in the face of those still in need, and until we get serious about the underlying issues and connections, there will be no true equality.