Quakers as Teachers

This morning, I was sitting in on a teen First Day school class. I had not been to this group before, but I wanted to meet the woman running the group as we had previously communicated about me talking with the group about glbt issues. Because the scheduled speaker/activity was late, we actually spent much of today talking about these issues. There were 4 youth in the group (a senior, a junior - both from a local Quaker private school, a freshman from a suburban public school, and a sixth grader).

Rather than lecture, I did what I usually do, turn to questions for discussion. Here's what was identified: at the private high school, sexual orientation was absolutely no big deal, according to the students from that school. But, at the suburban school, the youth reported that gays were annoying - loud and irritating. I asked if the lesbians were the same, and he said no. We talked about why there might be more reactivity to male homosexuals (and, perhaps more reactivity from among within this group). We seemed to reach a point of understanding taht we live in a time where it is easier for females to slip out of feminine roles, than for males to slip out of masculine roles (such as express their affection for each other). For this same youth, I hasked if the "annoying gays" were the only gays in the school, and he said they are the only one's that are out. I asked how gays who come out are recieved, and he stated that they are generally directed towards the annoying gays, which led to a discussion about how we often tend to reflect the behaviors of our environment (I used regional accents as an example).

At this point, we abruptly shigted gears because the scheduled presenter showed up. He is involved with Amnesty International, and talked about the 3 issues on AI's docket for this week that are their letter-writing campaign. This is where something interesting - perhaps troubling - happened. The three issues are clearly of concern, but the coercion to sign the three letters was not good. The youngest member of the group stated he wasn't sure he wanted to sign the letters (his stated reason: wondering what would happen to him. The teacher said he'd become a good person if he signed the letters). She really did not leave "not signing" as an option, and the older kids pretty much jumped on the bandwagon. At first, I did not want to sign them either (I'm not much for that kind of activity, although I support others in doing it), but also felt as if that was not ok.

My concern here is the overly coercive/lack of dialog approach to activism. It seemed like what was happening was this: "here's the problem (amnesty issues); we all agree these are problems; now, do what I say to address this" For me, this didn't seem to be the best of Quakerism as a process of unerstanding and love; instead it seemed to be more of the bad stuff - a fundamentalist, don't ask questions, just get in line approach to social justice.

FLGBTQC, or Why Is This Acronym So Long?

[EDIT: The final draft can be read here.]

For my Monthly Meeting's Newsletter, our Testimonies & Concerns committee has suggested I write an article about FLGBTQC. Here is the rough draft. I am open to suggestions at this time; the article is not due until February 22nd. Please let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions.

Friends for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Concerns (FLGBTQC) is an organization composed of and run by Quakers who are concerned about the Testimonies (especially the Testimony of Equality) in relation to Friends with a variety of understandings and experiences of sexuality and gender. As I've told several Friends at Third Haven about this group, the response has tended to be laughter at the length of the name and the amount of initials in the abbreviation. Friends have implied that the name could be shortened; or the Q could be dropped, asking why the Q is necessary with all the LGBT in front of it.

I do not mean to imply that Friends have not been appropriately supportive of the group; but each and every one has commented on the length of the name. We Quakers love our abbreviations and have many of them that are commonly used in normal conversations at Meeting (AFSC, PYM, T&C, FGC, FCNL, etc.). FLGBTQC is longer than most; I admit to having trouble memorizing it at first. Yet since I've come to realize what the letters stand for, the acronym FLGBTQC comes easily to me now.

I can't imagine any of us not knowing what Lesbian and Gay means, but I will speak for a moment about why listing both Lesbian and Gay is a tribute to our Testimony of Equality. Gay was first used to refer to homosexual men, to the exclusion of women. In recent years, it was extended to refer to homosexual women as well; as homosexual women began to get more recognition both inside and outside of the "non-straight" community. By using both Lesbian and Gay, FLGBTQC is acknowledging that lesbian women and gay men have different identities. This is important, because not only is it true; but their experiences can differ vastly as well. Also, listing Lesbian first reverses the common acronym of GLBT, where Gay is listed first. This is a step towards equality of men and women, by not automatically assuming that the male-oriented acronym should go before the female-oriented one.

Bisexual might be a term most of you are familiar, but uncomfortable, with. Bisexuals can be attracted to either sex. To a bisexual, lesbians and gays, and straight men and women are considered monosexual; that is, they are attracted to only one sex instead of two. Bisexuals can be accused of being "fence sitters", or "confused", or "going through phases". I had a male friend in high school first come out to me as bisexual, and then later came to accept that he was gay. This does happen; but it does not mean that all people who identify as bisexual are confused or in denial. We are perhaps the only sexuality group whose sexuality is regularly denied and ridiculed by members of the "normative" sexuality (i.e., straight) and members of the GLBT community. There is a lot of confusion about bisexuals; I would like to offer myself as a resource to any member of Third Haven who would like to know more about bisexual people (I am one).

Transgender is one category that I have to admit to having little knowledge or experience of. Transgender can refer to people with both male and female sex organs, those who are in the process of changing their sex surgically (or are thinking about doing so, or have done so in the past), those who feel they have a different gender than sex (for example, a man stuck in a woman's body), those who bend the gender identity rules of our society (such as crossdressers), and so on. Transgender is not a sexual orientation, but a gender identity. Transgender people can have any sexual orientation, including straight.

Queer is for those people who don't identify with any of the previous identities, but do not consider themselves to fit into societal norms of sexual orientation or gender identity. For example, some people consider themselves to be pansexual instead of bisexual, acknowledging that they can be attracted to anyone regardless of sex or gender identity. Pansexuals feel that bisexual, with its implication of men and women only, excludes transgender individuals. Pansexuals often feel they are attracted to the person, regardless of the person's sex or gender. There are also those who consider their sexuality and/or their gender identity to be fluid instead of set into a specific category. The Queer is listed as part of FLGBTQC concerns to allow those people the chance to have a voice in the Religious Society of Friends.

If any would like more information about FLGBTQC, they have a website at http://www.quaker.org/flgbtqc/ . Included at their website is a letter to all Friends everywhere written last February:

"Once again, we are called to testify to the love we find moving among us. It is a testimony of radical inclusion. It is a cause of great pain to our corporate body to know that there are some Friends for whom our message is deeply disturbing; indeed, apparently, in contravention of their strongly held beliefs. It would gladden our hearts if Friends could soften their hearts to hear us out."

The rest of that epistle can be found here: http://www.quaker.org/flgbtqc/2007epistle.html .

I hope that I've cleared up the necessity of each of the initials in FLGBTQC; and that by doing so have made the acronym easier to remember.